i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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