So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
