I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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