when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
