I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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