Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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