I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
