We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
