kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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