Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
