Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
