rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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