She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
