you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
