Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
