Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
