my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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