Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
