Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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