Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
