if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
