They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
