I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Two words: blizzard sex
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
