Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
