What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
