My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
