Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
wow bdsm is so cute
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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