So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize