): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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