You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
