apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
she pinky promised me she was 18
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
