Michael Bay diarrhea
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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