I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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