the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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