And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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