Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
