it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
