I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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