Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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