btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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