my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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