So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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