I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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