btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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