Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
