the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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