OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
