Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
only if we run a train.
done.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
