Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
