You really coming over, don't trick.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
