I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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