butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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