census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
