youre lurking in front of me
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
