I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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