thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
