you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
