It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
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