Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
