She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
