I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
