The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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