It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
