I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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