dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
