i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
