Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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