You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
