At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
