I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
