Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
