he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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