I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
PANTIES FOUND
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